Part 6: "Aspiration"
Squee, thanks so much for the reviews!! *_* I'm so glad you guys are liking this. I've added a few extra notes in the first part to clear up some comments I've been getting in random places. Quick comments:
"You'll know eventually": My favorite of the two is Kouji. ^^; His voice is just to DIE for. *falls over* And Takuya is a little too overprotective of himself and Tomoki in the series, so I suppose that's why I don't adore him as much... yet. XD As for backstory, that is also based on the profile given by Megchan, which I quote "His father's circumstances have caused him to change schools many times, and because of this he's not very good at making friends."
marian: It depends on you guys, of course ~_^ Although I may feel like being evil at any given moment, lol. My first impression of Takuya was the hairstyle, and I was like "My god, he has Sora's hair... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" But after several episodes, I've observed that his hair is more clumped, and actually he looks nothing like Sora without the hat. More like Satoshi/Ash from Pokemon, or Hiroshi/Richie. Wearing the hat doesn't help the obvious similarity, poor Takuya. But hey, I think Satoshi looks cute in a lot of manga... ^_^;
Those who have seen episode 3/4 may recognize something... slightly. :-D Oh, the fun of AU-ness!
Disclaimer: Digimon Frontier and its characters belong to Toei, not me. This is fanmade material, and by freedom of speech and all sorts of other random laws wonderful America has, I have the right to make this kind of stuff, so don't try it. XD
I wasn't supposed to be there. Not at the station again. I should have been under that tree, in bliss...
I passed that day mindless on my surroundings. During breakfast, Neemon reminded us about the Trailmon that was going to arrive later in the day, but was immediately quieted by Bokomon. We ate mainly in silence, although Junpei tried to initiate a conversation several times. I would have joined in... but I was too preoccupied... Their topic seemed awkward, anyhow.
" The pointy-ness was stitched in when I bought it! There's absolutely nothing wrong with my hat, I think it looks just fine," Izumi said to Junpei.
" I still think you should just ditch it."
We sat at a round table for seven people, so with Bokomon, Neemon, the other three kids and myself, there was an empty seat. Tomoki was chewing his food at my side, and the other was empty. Kouji could have been there... He could be chatting with us, sharing jokes, making fun of each other...
Damn it, why wasn't he here?
I was standing in front of a Trailmon, ready to take off at any moment.
" Takuya big brother?" the little boy chirped. " Are you spacing out again?"
I blinked, re-adjusting my view to see the small boy tugging at my jacket. I had to admire Tomoki for his brightness... he had a lot of it. The Trailmon in front of us puffed out some steam. Neemon told us that it would take us home, only to be dragged away by the shorter Bokomon for a pep talk. The pep talk involved Bokomon snapping Neemon's pants...
Junpei was all psyched to go home, and Tomoki most certainly had to go with him. He was still in 3rd grade, after all. Izumi decided not to go. Not like I cared. I wasn't going to save her hiney if she was in trouble, not with how she treated me.
Tomoki was now hesitant to leave after seeing my evolution. It had impressed him greatly and he wanted to evolve as well, but we insisted that he went back. As soon as the Trailmon was out of sight, we saw Junpei and Tomoki walking towards us in the other direction. It was strange seeing them reappear like that, but they didn't seem to know why they didn't stay on.
For some reason, we decided (more like IZUMI decided) to walk down the railroad track to find another station. Along the way, Bokomon entertained me with his begging to obtain the other Digimon spirits. Our Digivices suddenly beeped, and mine announced "Terminal in the forest," then blanked out. It didn't give us any more information, so Bokomon proceeded to check on his book. He quoted that the railroad we were on would eventually lead to this " Terminal in the forest." Maybe Kouji would be going there...
Kouji stared at his Digivice, idly blanking his mind. The Trailmon he was riding was a noisy one, roaring as it tore across the track. Kouji had a little urge to just whack or kick it or something, but it wouldn't be a sign of gratefulness. Instead, he just let it go without moving an extra inch.
Kouji lazily put an arm against the seat. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he just had to move out of his old area. He was already starting to regret his move. Takuya didn't deserve to be left behind...
He could imagine Takuya going back to that tree, searching for him. He could imagine him looking underwater in the stream, desperate yet hopefuly. Searching the field, still hopeful...
The guilt welling inside him refused to settle on his will. He didn't want to regret his decision, but it seemed impossible to avoid it. He cursed his voyaging instincts. Why did he have to believe that he was meant to be alone? He hadn't even thought about Takuya's feelings.
That is, if Takuya DID have any feelings for him...
' Why should he?' Kouji thought, ' I'm grouchy and touchy. He couldn't possibly find anything decent about me...'
He shook his head. He didn't want to think about the goggle boy, rather, he should have thought about where to go and what to do. The Trailmon screeched to a stop in the middle of a barren station. Kouji lifted himself off the train, observing the surroundings. The Trailmon yawned, drooping its eyes to sleep. Kouji eyed it for a moment, then spotted a waiting bench in front of him, and took roost on it.
" I'll sleep by myself," he said rhetorically. The chill of a wind blew by, and Kouji cringed, thankful that his hands were stuffed in his pockets. Once his hands got cold they took forever to get the circulation to flow in them regularly again.
Another piercing breeze hit him, but this time Kouji's instincts to hang onto something got to the better of him. He brought his hands out of his pockets, and seeing no one else was around (except the strange Trailmon), he hugged himself. It provided little comfort to him. The insecurity brought a vision of Takuya to him...
Then he remembered his rejection. Takuya had offered his company and he had turned him down. Gone away. Left. And he would probably never see him again.
The sense of loneliness from that realization was something he had never felt before. He never intended to feel that way about anyone... but it was too late. Despite Takuya's somewhat annoying personality, he had compassion and brought a feeling of vibrancy wherever he went. In a way, Kouji wished he could be like the goggle head. Sometimes even HE would get sick of not being cheerful at all.
But Takuya was gone now. He wasn't there to inspire his joyful side to come out and play. He wasn't there to make him laugh, feel sadness or happiness. He wasn't there to just... BE there.
The wind caught him again, and Kouji groaned against it, unable to avoid the coldness it brought.
Kouji had to admit it. He missed Takuya, dearly.
He awoke to some incessant chattering the following morning. In front, he could see kids discussing amongst themselves, their backs to him.
" This might be the Terminal in the forest," one of them said.
Kouji peered at the sign near them which clearly said, " Soyokaze village."
" It's not the Terminal in the forest," he said blandly. ' Can they NOT READ?!?'
The others spoke to him, their voices too cheery for Kouji's mood at the moment. He put his hands in his pockets again and stepped down from the bench he was sitting on. Since Takuya wasn't there, he didn't have any reason to hang around with them... The girl asked him where he was going.
" I'll go where I feel like going." He walked away, disgusted for no particular reason. Maybe it was the girl's loud complaining about his attitude. He just had to wonder why Takuya wasn't there. After the kids were out of sight, he wandered into some forest area and found a small tree to lean against. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth lightly, listening to the sounds of nature around him.
' So the kids didn't go back,' he mused. He didn't think the Trailmon would actually let them on, he had already known that they wouldn't be able to go back. But there still seemed to be a possibility... ' Takuya must be really pissed at me right now.'
Not wishing to brood, he opened his eyes and a sprout of a leafy plant caught his attention. It was an edible one, but it wasn't near mature enough to taste decent. He noticed a few more in a row, and pushed himself off the tree to follow the plant line. Perhaps the trail would lead him somewhere.
He was interrupted by the sounds of battle nearby. Those kids he had encountered before were probably in trouble... With an inward sigh, he left his stance to make a temporary rescue.
Damn, uncomfortable non-existant cushion...
I tossed and turned in different positions in the room. Everybody else was already asleep, as usual. I guess my eternal clock was a bit warped since I usually stayed up to visit Kouji...
I grunted, the thought of him clogging up my stomach. I needed sleep... and the stiff ground wasn't helping. Neither was Kouji. Um...
The Digimon we helped today insisted on giving us a place to sleep for the night. They were basically robotic beetles that conducted large amounts of electricity, called Kokuwamon. Unfortunately for the more organic forms (being humans), their only "nourishment" was batteries. What a delicacy. But they didn't have any food...
So I suppose hunger was another reason for my insomnia. That, and the stupid, evil floor... and Kouji. I winced again. I have to stop doing that... The most this place gave us was a roof over our heads. We didn't need the roof, and I would have prefered to look at the moons... they calmed me. Sometimes Kouji and I would just lay around staring at the moons in total silence, aware of the other's presence and feeling contentment from that.
Two nights without Kouji. I wondered if I could survive another one...
Suddenly, I remembered the event several days earlier. Kouji's tale, my pleading to stay with him, our advancement towards each other...
My eyes widened at the memory, its effect pointless in the dark. I could remember the feel of his hair, the texture of his skin, his wanton expression... And I knew for sure, that night with him wouldn't be only one...
Thought it was a bit sloppy... ^^; I just had to put SOMETHING out, relieve some of the evil cliffhanging of the other chapter. But I just finished watching episode 6 (which has LOTS of Takuya and Kouji, by the way ~_^) and the Takouji muse has risen again...
Well, let's see what happens. XD